Mute....

I could scream at the top of my lungs and still feel like I'm never heard. I think growing up in my house being the baby and the only girl I always had 100% attention from anyone when I wanted it, and even when I didn't. As I've gotten older this has still been the case, well until about 2 years ago. I don't if I've lost that piece of me. I feel like I can't speak up when I need to, I back down to easy and most days i just sit quiet. I'm not sure if this is because I'm gonna be 30 in about 3 years (shoot me please) and it's just something in me that's changing or if I have truly lost my back bone. Either way I don't know what to do.... A long time ago I remember saying to one of my friends, "I wish I could that quiet laid back girl that everyone likes" well the quiet girl has arrived but still isn't liked by many. I think that's just me though, many people don't care for me until they get to know me, sad part is not to many people want to try. Even my family I feel is finally understanding the person that I am and with that its much easier to all get a long. I guess I just feel a little lost lately and haven't really been able to talk about it. Maybe things have been to crazy to listen, maybe there are others things running through their heads, i don't know. I do know I feel like I'm screaming but some one has hit the mute button. Please turn me back up.....

-Mye

Day 3

Marray has been home for 3 days now and I feel like I can breathe again. The pass 4 months where honestly the hardest times I had ever been through with him. You don't realize how much the little things matter until you don't have them, just like grabbing you a glass water in the middle of the night cause you had a little cough... :) I'm not gonna lie though, it has seemed like we are still trying to get use to us being together at home again. When you are away from people you forget little things or change somethings. I will say this nothing can ever change that feeling when he wakes me up by kissing my back in morning. I woke up so many times and tears would fall cause I miss him so much and miss just that simple morning hello. I'm so happy he's back home and life is back to way it's suppose to be. Now if I could just do something with those other people in my life that I spend 90% of my week with.... SMDH some people are just so sad and miserable that they can't do anything but try and bring you down with them... Move on bitches cause I'm so happy with my life and the amazing friends and family I have in it. Okay I'm trying to get back to a normal sleeping pattern so its time for me to shower and go lay next to my love. Good Night and Sweet Dreams.
<3

-Mye