Mute....

I could scream at the top of my lungs and still feel like I'm never heard. I think growing up in my house being the baby and the only girl I always had 100% attention from anyone when I wanted it, and even when I didn't. As I've gotten older this has still been the case, well until about 2 years ago. I don't if I've lost that piece of me. I feel like I can't speak up when I need to, I back down to easy and most days i just sit quiet. I'm not sure if this is because I'm gonna be 30 in about 3 years (shoot me please) and it's just something in me that's changing or if I have truly lost my back bone. Either way I don't know what to do.... A long time ago I remember saying to one of my friends, "I wish I could that quiet laid back girl that everyone likes" well the quiet girl has arrived but still isn't liked by many. I think that's just me though, many people don't care for me until they get to know me, sad part is not to many people want to try. Even my family I feel is finally understanding the person that I am and with that its much easier to all get a long. I guess I just feel a little lost lately and haven't really been able to talk about it. Maybe things have been to crazy to listen, maybe there are others things running through their heads, i don't know. I do know I feel like I'm screaming but some one has hit the mute button. Please turn me back up.....

-Mye